You Can’t Do Both

1024 205 Augusta Kantra

Here’s a thought I’d like to share…

What you love, you empower.
What you fear, you empower.
What you empower, you attract.
~ Author Unknown

In There’s a Spiritual Solution to Every Problem, Wayne Dyer says, “Fear and Love cannot be present at the same time.”  In The Biology of Belief, Bruce H. Lipton says, “The mechanisms that support growth and protection cannot operate optimally at the same time.” Both of these wise and scholarly men purport the idea that when we are in a protective mode, we cannot grow and when we are committed to growth, we must put aside our armor and open our hearts.


We cannot protect and grow at the same time. It’s a ‘one or the other’ proposition.  If you are waiting to open your heart until you are sure you will not get hurt, that time will not come and you will stay right where you are—or worse yet, close down even more because fear feeds fear.


When we justify our behavior with our fears (i.e., We don’t try the new yoga class because the instructor might be too hard; We don’t get out of a non-satisfactory relationship because we don’t want to be alone; We don’t ask for a raise because we don’t want the boss to question my worth.) we strengthen our fears and create the environment or the circumstances that will allow those fears to manifest.  Kinda scary, isn’t it?


On the other hand, when we acknowledge our fears, bring them compassionately into the light of our deepest honesty, and then consciously choose growth – things change.  We change. We begin to attract to our lives the environments and circumstances that support our growth. The process of growth creates a momentum that propels growth, and our journey literally becomes easier. There’s less in our way, and those things that do create challenges for us become seen as launching pads rather than stumbling blocks.


Recognizing the feeling of “holding back” is essential to an honest assessment of our fears. That tug, that hook, that subtle pulling back or withdrawing – those are the body’s indications that fear is operating as head honcho in the brain.  If we can become adept at identifying this constricted feeling in our bodies, we are more able to accurately assess our thoughts and pause long enough to make choices that are congruent with our desired direction.


When fear is at the helm, love is not. Fear is constricting and tends to guide us in tight circles, getting us nowhere fast. Love is expansive and opens up space enough for breath and choices. We cannot close down and open up at the same time. It is not in our best interests to deny this fundamental law of nature.


Wishing you space enough to choose love and growth,




Augusta Kantra

All stories by: Augusta Kantra

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